The Enuii of June.

I started typing this throughout June and never got to the end of it, so here goes…

“Why hello there, dearest readers. I hope you are all well and that the world has treated you with kindness.

So, I’ve been absent of late, but it’s mostly to do with the fact that I’ve become very quiet in general. I have nothing to say to anyone. Well, I don’t know. I seem to have a lot to say when I’m alone, it’s just when I’m with anyone in person, everything I planned to say combusts into dust, which scatters in the wind. I just never get the chance to say it, our conversations are too enthralling and I forget about everything I was going to say. And I don’t have any interesting contributions to give. Maybe I’ve simply become more of a listener. I spend too much of my time talking otherwise.

I’m feeling a little lost. Exams have come again and I’m fretting. This is my last chance to prove myself to everyone who doubts me, but the amount of energy it requires is feeling like too much. I’m trying to revise, it just isn’t working, nothing sticks and my thoughts are scattering. Like the paint that sprays in the air when someone flicks the brush. That someone is a watered down version of despair. I simply feel very alone. I have four people I consider my closest friends: there is of course, the best friend. I’ve known her for seven years, and yes, our friendship has been through some fluctuations, but it’s still rather concrete. I’m finally comfortable with her; I can tell her things without the fear that she will sever our friendship. We can go months without speaking to one another, but when we do it’s like there was no distance at all. I feel the same about Fluffy, though I’ve known her for a lot less and been close to her for even less than that (I think it’s only just coming to a year). There is something very real about her that simply feels refreshing. I miss and think of her regularly; when we’re together, I don’t want to leave. I will grow old with her one day, definitely, and we will live happily ever after. So very quickly, she has equalled the best friend, she really does make me happy. I never fail to laugh when in her presence. Tortoise I’ve gotten close to again. No matter how hard I tried to keep my distance, my care and worry was just too great. And then he did me the honour of trusting me, stating that I was one of the few he considered true friends. How was I supposed to refrain from reciprocating that trust, that friendship? I couldn’t and I cannot.  Not to mention the fact that he is also rather honest and his manners are such that he makes me think of times long lost; another who makes me happy. Zelda is very good at grounding me and I turn to her when I start to lose my way. She is another one whose view of the world is a wake up call, she reminds me of what is important. Though we hardly talk, I know that I can trust her opinion.

I love these people, every single one in different ways, (and yet ultimately the same way) but there are times where I wonder whether they can ever truly know me. Maybe I’m just a convenience; someone there when no one else is. The last option. I feel rather replaceable and disposable of late. I mean, it was easy for Miss Equine.

I think that might be the crux of my problem. It’s nothing they’ve done, more my own internal struggles, and, well, experiences. I simply cannot fathom how someone can just stop caring. It’s beyond me. All that time and energy into one person for it all to mean nothing? How? How does a person do that? How did the woman who supported me through a low time, and had that help reciprocated, do that exactly?”

As you can see, I was full of melancholy and turmoil. I think, drama with Miss Equine aside, exams were getting to me too (they’re done and dusted now, one month to go!) and my mother didn’t help matters, (she was starting to sink into depression and I had to help her). I was feeling sepulchral inside, but I tried to remain vibrant and uplifting. (Misery does get boring, honestly, I’d had my fair share last year and I’m trying to get to the point where I’m more or less done with it.) Plus, I didn’t really want to inflict that on anyone else. However, that’s all done and dusted now! I’m rather ecstatic of late, and I no longer feel so disposable for any of the above. I revere each of them and I shall tell all in the next post!

Until then!

“A book holds a house of gold.” ~ Chinese Proverb.



It’s all in the title. I’ve been very confused this month. Very. I’ll post tomorrow and hopefully unravel it all. If you can keep up.

Convoluted Chaos with a Dash of Serenity.

Why hello there readers! So, I’ve had a leave of absence, but remain assured! I have been writing my more or less biography still. According to WordPress, the following was drafted on the seventh day of this year. So here goes…

“Why, hello there you fine ladies and gentlemen.

How are you all? I do hope the answer is well. I’m a little confused at to what to call this post but we’ll see what I come up with by the end of it. So, I’m writing this at work. Before you deem me a lazy, unreliable sod, I’ve completed all of my tasks and some of my colleagues. There’s quite literally nothing to do until we get some more letters, or the doctor gives me a task to do. (I wish was I referring to the one from Doctor Who but sadly not. Alas, dreams will remain dreams- ooh, possible title.) Of course, you’re probably wondering why I don’t simply depart for my chambers (yes, I occasionally dub my bedroom as my chambers… Victorian girl here, you know.)

Aww, a small child is playing hide and seek with me; it’s rather cute. This line of work really can be rewarding sometimes.

Anyway, I can’t go home yet as there are still patients to send down to the doctor, but other than that, the only thing for me to do is converse with you/construct a monologue. I do have some rather enthralling tales to tell you all. Or maybe I don’t and I’m just so happy with my life everything seems enthralling to me. Maybe I’m in love. Who knows? Certainly not me. Perhaps one of you can enlighten me after reading this post. I might subconsciously include something of consequence.

My mind’s in a bit of a bedlam. It’s with all the mental revision I’m doing. Light independant reactions; Complex ions with their ligands; the calvin cycle; seral stages of succession; optical isomers; zwitter ions; aldehydes; organic molecules and their producuts (I shan’t go into the list though it’s in my head); algor mortis, rigor mortis (you’ve got to love a bit of latin) HIV; electropotential; rusting; oxidation numbers and a range of other biology and chemistry related things. I’m not too bothered about my history. I’ve completed my coursework, and though I admit it’s nowhere near enough to what I’m capable of, at least I have the basic points down. I can focus on the coursework for all of my subjects after my exams. In all honesty though, that’s only one part of the bedlam.”

I’d finished work and I was somewhat knackered. Sleep was very welcome that night.

Drafted: 13/01/2013

“Today was filled with quite a bit of contemplation. As the sun descended behind the visible skyline and the day drew to a close, as the curtains of night plunged the world into a star filled darkness, I sort of saw how fast time flies. These last few years have quite literally whizzed by; a Superman clock if you will. (Clark Kent Clock: there’s a tongue twister to keep me entertained for a few hours.)”

It did…

“Oh, look at that, it’s midnight already. (See what I mean about extra-terrestrial, cape wearing time? Though I’m sure that it must have been quicker for you than it was for me.)

I’ve lost my flow of thought and my mind feels sluggish, huzzah for me, I guess. I really should go to bed, but my mind, because it’s such a damn oxymoron, is brimming with sibilancy despite the sluggishness I feel. Ugh, so I’m just going to rant away until I am satisfied with my infuriating cognizance. I hope I manage to produce an engaging read too, that’d be a plus.

So, events and thoughts since the last time I posted. Well, the new year started off with a bang. Didn’t it for everyone? How could you miss all the fireworks and drunken revelling? Sleep was a blessing that night. My revision remained apathetic. I was partaking in the action, but it was somewhat robotic. The events of the holidays left me somewhat in shock for a week or so, and I just couldn’t decide how I felt about a particular event. Touched, indifferent, hopeful, accepting, I felt all of these through the course of the holidays. I shan’t elaborate because a) I’m an evil little witch and b) I’m unintentionally with intention tailoring my posts for various reasons: one of which is the fact that I don’t want this to turn into too much of a diary. I really should begin to compose one again, so that I can convey my feelings somewhere other than this blog. Don’t get me wrong, I do talk to my friends on occasion, but they just don’t understand why I feel the way I do. And I’ve gotten tired of explaining it over and over again. Surely my sense of loyalty is not that incomprehensible, is it? (Sob. Why oh why was I not born in an earlier century?!)

Exams have arrived and I’m hoping I did well in the Biology one I had this passing Friday. I’m going to be really rather embarrassed if I don’t do well in it. You see, I went into…”

No, I have no idea what I went to. I think I fear to find out. I’d fallen asleep, again. Note to readers, succumbing to the land of slumber in a more or less vertical position, is horrendous for your neck and back. Also terrible for the head when you choose to bang it into your laptop, thanks to the wonderous ways of gravity.

Drafted 16/01/13 This one’s a tad longer and full of turmoil. No, I have no idea what is wrong with me.

“I hope I’ve done well. I think I have but it’s a very loose think. I just don’t know. My attendance was ridiculous, so maybe I’ve failed everything. Oh well. I’m lucky enough to already have a job I guess. Ugh. Why can’t we have the results now? Why can’t I mark my own paper so that I can curse myself for my stupid mistakes, why, oh why, oh why? Other than that, my plan to remain antisocial has more or less crumbled into ash, and that ash has been scattered in the wind, to be found only upon chance. Chance is hardly ever in my favour.

I still have no reply from my UCAS application and as the weeks pass by, I am getting more and more nervous. Waiting is genuinely awful. Remind me never to put anyone through the agony of patience. The only reason patience is a bloody virtue is because the world is nought but a waiting game! The only thing we don’t have to wait for is perhaps our supply of oxygen (that doesn’t apply if you’re underwater by the way, in case anybody decides to take everything I write far too literally, – please don’t – you’ll be a waiting a long time for oxygen down there.)
In other news, I’ve been somewhat quite content these past few weeks, even the Christmas episode made me quite cheerful; I’d gotten my closure. (I’m pretty sure you all know what I’m talking about now, if you’ve been following my blog avidly, if you haven’t, go do that and experience the enlightenment the rest of my readers are! It will heal your soul, you know. Or mine. Whichever.)

I was happy, especially with all the snow! My love for snow is borderline ludicrous. I went out and jumped in it; my old soul wanted to be young again, but that didn’t last long as I had a Chemistry exam to prepare for. Darn it. I hope the snow persists until February. That would be AMAZING. Though I must admit, the octaves my voice surpasses in my excitement will probably enable me to communicate with bats. But SNOWWWWW. It’s so beautiful, picturesque, cold and soft. I love it!

Enough with the snowy sidetrack. (Snow and alliteration in one sentence, oh yes.)

Anywho, I feel like I’m starting to spiral down and I can’t pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me; the crux is unidentifiable. It’s getting rather irksome. Maybe I’m just being stupid. I only feel it for a moment before shrugging it off (I am content- I have no reason not to be), but it’s happening more frequently now. I think it may have something to do with the dilemnas of my friends.

When I care about a person, I get thoroughly involved. Their pain in unendurable for me, I have to find a way of getting rid of it or combust (I have a silly, masochistic way of thinking, I get that). But what do you do when two of your friends want opposite things? I don’t know how to help them and it is quite literally driving me to the brink of insanity. But it’s my own fault for getting so involved. Agh, why do I do this to myself? I’m such a sucker for sweet words towards me. It was the reason I got so attached to my ex-friend, damn it, he had a way with words. And I’m gullible enough to believe all of them, from him, from my other friends, from the cruellest of my family members who even had a hand in ruining my life once; I think some part of me craves for them to be the truth. Just once.
I mean, I did it again recently, two kind words from a person who hurt me deeply enough to change my way of thinking; one apology with a few heartfelt words, and I’ve jumped. I should know by now that it only leads to disappointment. But, but, that’s one of the things I’ve come to learn about myself, my utter lack of resistance to a few kind words. I’m okay with that, it’ll hurt occasionally but I’ll get over it. That isn’t what is bothering me now though.

I think after tomorrow I will be hunting down those ashes and finding a way to make an irreversible reaction, reversible. Monsieur Chatalier better be ready.”

I then tried yet again to finish it off, but I’m not very good at this as I’m sure you all must realise by now.

Drafted 18/02/13

“Results are within the month. (Please, someone kill me now and save me from that apocalyptic day… Am I dead yet? I hope that it is now my zombie conversing with you. This shall be interesting…) My attendance has increased, though I did end up getting a cold (snuffle, snuffle) and now all I have is coursework on my head. Earth, open up and swallow me, thanks.

Academia aside, my social life has blossomed far beyond the stage of a flower and into the fruit. (The butterfly analogy is far too blasé for this case.) No one is more shocked than I. I saw my best friend at the beginning of the year when she’d come back to our city for the holidays (that was quite a rebellious move, actually – a tale for another time!) As ever, it was lovely; whacked and clinically insane, but lovely. I also purchased more books that day! That too nonfiction! There was a sale, how could I possibly resist, pray tell? Do not condemn me so, bank balance!

The rest of the weeks entailed a cunning plan with a certain Fish and his Fishette (I do love my neologisms! I swear that I am normal, usually…) Neither parties knew of my scheming, cough, and things got a little, erm, interesting, there… long story short, I ended up standing on a toilet and using a cubicle wall to pull myself up, (this is why being my height is a curse) to stop myself from kicking down a door and thus further reducing my ever diminishing bank balance… Breathe. I’d never done so much exercise in my life and I shall probably never do as much again! They were driving me insane, something had to be done. Admittedly, things are a lot quieter now. Thank God for that. Silly people. What is it with us humans and having to make something that is actually quite simple, SO DAMN COMPLICATED? And, breathe. Honestly, I’ve spent an entire month screaming at people in my head, because they weren’t around for me to do it in person, I have a lot of scream pent up in my throat. I hope that it isn’t irritated by anyone, or the irritatee shall find themselves without their hearing for a while. [Insert manic grin here.]

In between all of this chaos I’ve spent a lot of time with Fluffy. I’m getting to know her more and more and she really is quite wonderful: highly perverted and crude just to irk me (it works very well), but wonderful. Why is there always a “but” whenever I am complimenting any of my comrades, I wonder?

I also, actually, really, truly, went out with my friends! (It’s a mind boggler, honest.) I graced a pub with my presence for the first time in my life… wearing a headscarf. Not many people who can say that one! (We’d planned originally to go to the cinema but only a few of us had booked tickets for the earlier showing. You don’t want to know what we did with the purchased tickets; we’re probably still being cursed.) I didn’t drink any alcohol, of course. Instead I was rather content with an iced coca-cola, which probably wasn’t very clever considering the fact that I’d already consumed an entire box of ice lollies earlier that day… Anyway, for those of you who have followed my blog from the onset, you’d probably be interested in knowing that we were accompanied by, well, the ex-friend. Dun, dun, dun.”

And that was about it for my attempts at drafting, so now, I’m going to go straight into it.

Results day arrived, and though I wasn’t over the moon, they’re salvageable and and two were exactly what I wanted and more than I needed to get into University. Speaking of University, I’ve received three acceptances so far, still waiting on two! I’ve also looked at a few different courses I could apply for during clearing should I fail everything. My future prospects and academic potential are looking sound either way!

As is rather clear from the above so called drafts, I’ve had a rather tumultuous three months when it comes to my emotions and my loved ones. You’ll be happy to know (yes, I’m assuming) that I am again quite content. The storm of emotions, etcetera has abated. More than anything I miss my best friend. I had a Skype conversation with her last night. We ended up comparing tongue sizes and I found out that pink lemonade is actually a thing. (I genuinely had no idea.) Plus, my birthday present may entail something debauched… I am genuinely frightened. But she’ll be coming back to the city soon so I am rather excited for that!

In other news, my mother will be headed of to Pakistan in two weeks and I am rather sad about that. I know I’ll miss her more than I should be allowed to. We’ll be living with our uncle, (he’s a strict Doctor-type and I do love him) which my younger sister is not really looking forward to, so that’ll be an interesting experience.

So! Me, the socialite! (Yes, I’d be choking in shock too.) I’ve genuinely been quite busy the last few weeks, meeting up with various friends (how am I finding these people, seriously?). One of whom was, yes, the ex-friend, (who will henceforth be known as… I’ll come up with something, Tortoise or Badger most likely.) Others included Fluffy and another two old acquaintances I’m rather glad have returned. Not to mention my birthday (Fluffy baked me my cake!), and the results day get together! (That, I must admit was somewhat amusing, as well as rather enlightening, cleansing and emotional… Golly!)

Anywho, I think that’s about caught you up, yes? Now, quotes, my wonderful quotes.

Well, recently, my love for the genius that is Patrick Rothfuss has rekindled, so I shall hunt him up!

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” ~ Patrick Rothfuss , The Name of the Wind.

Isn’t he wonderrful? And so right.

I bid thee adieu, readers! Hopefully, I shan’t take as long to monologue at you all again!

Until then!

Just a little note…

Hello my beloved readers!

It has been quite the while. I have so much to tell you all! My, a lot has changed within the last month. For one, I’m a year older! (Ugh), and my circle of friends seems to be ever expanding (shocker!), though admittedly, it’s more the return of old acquaintances. My attendance has improved, (we’re looking at 50% now! – yes, I need shooting), exams are over (results soon, please kill me?), and now the real clincher is coursework! So, I better get on with it.

I shall be monologuing again soon (I have three weeks worth of a draft coming along), until then my dears, take care and I bid thee adieu!

“A nation’s treasure is in its scholars.” ~ Chinese Proverb.

End of an Era, Beginning of Me.

So, the year draws to a close, and my what a year it has been. I’ve spent most of the evening reminiscing over what has changed, and what never really changed at all. This year has probably been both the best and worst of my life, and if you knew what occurred, you’d understand that little (no pun on my height intended) juxtaposition right there. And because I’m a right little witch (pun intended), I shan’t elaborate for you tonight!

It’s so very strange. This time last year, I was chopping trees (my aunty wanted rid) and burning them, my own little new year bonfire. I even added memories I wanted destroyed to the pyre; finally moving on from a disappointing span of my life. – sneaky, I know. Once I was finished with my rather enjoyable act of arson, I took to drinking as much coca-cola as I could (because I’m such a good Muslim, didn’t you know?) and watching the New Year celebrations in London on BBC one, looking out for my best friend who I knew was a part of the festivities. I remember that as I watched the fireworks paint the sky and Big Ben chime the entrance of 2012, I closed my eyes and thought over 2011, saying in my head “Okay then, bring on 2012. Let’s see what you have to offer.” (I’m certifiable, yes, it’s true.) Little did I know exactly what it would bring.

It brought change, real change, like no other new year had. Change in my surroundings, change in my friends, change in the types of people I knew, change in where I lived, change in the dynamics of my relationships and most of all, change in myself. So much change in myself. A change, that in the last month or so has finally begun to seal and become concrete. I’ve spent so long, so very very long in trying to find myself, who I am, what personality I fit into. I’m only 18 and yet I feel like I’ve lived a lot longer that. Then, in reaction to that emotion, I feel selfish, so very naive and misinformed. I’d spent this entire year full of turmoil and despair for absolutely stupid reasons when drawn into comparison with real, true suffering. I don’t know what pain, disappointment is. Exactly how much of life have I seen? Not enough to pounce on and cling to the conclusions that I had during 2012. But it all stemmed from the fact that I didn’t know who I was, and what to do with myself. Which path to take.

So, slight tangent. I sent a generic text to all of my contacts wishing them a happy new year about some five minutes ago, of whom one of which replied referring to me as “babe.” [Inset an ample amount of shuddering here, please.]

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was with Fluffy, and commented on how different she was from the rest of my friends. When I stopped to contemplate that a little with her, I realised that not one of my close friends were similar to the other; some were even polar opposites! Me in the middle? I was the “different of the different” (her words) and it was the first piece of my character that hit me. After that, more things fell into place. I still don’t really know who I am, I don’t really think anyone ever really does, but I’ve more clues now than I ever did before. (I didn’t have any clue at the beginning of 2012, so yes, it’s a lot more than I had.) I know which path to take, and now, I know the core elements that make up my character. I’ve always known my flaws, but some of my positive attributes now join that part of my cognizance. I must remark, like the pompous twat I am (see, the insight is clear!): it’s a damn good feeling.

Sister S played Elvis Presley so I went off on a little dance. If I’ve lost the flow of my post, that’s why. Just to clear that up.

My new years resolutions are minimal. First: I am going to be content with my life. (Because according to the Daily Post, I only have three months of it left. Death by Comet. How rather awesome. I watched a documentary on it, it was really rather interesting, if a tad apocalyptic.) Second: I shall read more. I’m going to live a thousand lives before I die, why should I only live my own? And third: No more plans, no more resolutions. I’m going to let the chips fall where they may and hope my deity is watching over.

So 2012, I thank you for that magic carpet of a ride. (Honestly, that’s more apt than a rollercoaster; magic carpets don’t have seatbelts.) Please may I have a calmer, less exhilarating 2013? Oh wait, (hopefully) I’ll be embarking on my life as a University student, finally having reached the destination of that very long horse-drawn carriage trip. Calm? I think not.

Oooh, I hear fireworks. Have a great 2013 readers! I’m genuinely quite content with my life, happy actually, and I hope the same can be said for you.

THREE… TWO… ONE. It’s officially 2013, and I have shivers.

Oh, and to you, dear reader, whom I’m deliberating on whether to send a more personal text to or not, I hope 2013 treats you even better than this last (is the short version of said text). Truly, I do. And I’m sorry in advance if I decide to text. Who knows, I may get some guts. It may also be my first official mistake of 2013. Hurrah for that. Anywho, no more secret messaging. (I’m stupid readers, I’m sorry. Just keep drinking and ignore me.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. Have a spectacular one, and do continue reading my blog, thank you.

Live long and prosper readers. I’m off to drink some more coke.

Love and wishes, Suman (and Spock.) x

“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” ~ James Agate. Come on 2013. Bring it on. I’m ready.

Oh, The Festive Paradox.

Merry Christmas, readers!

Why, hello there! It has been a while, hasn’t it? I hope you’ve all been in good health and that life has been gracious to you. I was actually reminded last night about my blog; I’d quite forgotten to post this week. (The previous weeks, I was at a loss for what to say. Sad times, right?) Well, this month has been an interesting one. Lots going on. WARNING: This post shall be long as I attempt to catch you all up. I’ve spent the entire morning arguing with/talking to myself, trying to come up with something dryly humorous to write and I still haven’t come to a conclusion. I’m not sure if this is good or bad.

So, the majority of the month has consisted of attempts to find out why on earth I’ve been so ill. Turns out, my iron levels are low and I’m stressing. They’ve changed my medication; hopefully, something good will come out of it. (i.e like 100% attendance post the Christmas holidays. Yes please. Because otherwise, I’ll just get stressed again, resulting in lower iron levels, a lower attendance, more stress and look at that, we have a jolly old paradox!) 2013, here I come!

Speaking of college, education and my future, it’s that time of year again. (Well, technically not, seeing as how it will occur in the coming year, but that’s not so far away… Yes, I’m nonsensing again. Ignore me.) That’s right, Exam season dawns upon us! (Notice the capital. Exams deserve it.) But, surprisingly, I’m quite alright with it and not as panicky as I expected. (Maybe I shouldn’t have written that. Watch me write a post next week about how little revision I have done. FML.) I’ve started my History coursework and I’m only just taking a break. I’m focusing on History today. Once my coursework is done, I’ll be writing up my Russian notes. Tomorrow will consist of answering Chemistry questions with a dash of Biology near the end. My Chemistry coursework is more or less done, only a few tweaks needed, which I can focus on after exams. Thursday, I have a four hour shift at work, but the rest of the day (with a brief interval) shall be Biology based. I’m actually organised. Which means I can start the new year with my rota! Finally. Things are falling into place. What a merry Christmas indeed! [Insert euphoric face here.]

The last thing of note with my education is that I’ve finally completed and sent my University application. Which was really quite stupid, considering the fact that it’s Christmas and it will take almost forever (because it damn well feels like forever) to get a response. Gah, why didn’t I just send it off in September? I’ve had it ready since then. My predicted and AS grades meet the criteria, and yet I was still just so scared to send it. Stupid, stupid, buffoon. Now, waiting for a response, I am nervous as censored. I’m really quite annoying my mother, checking my email every four hours. Just in case there’s some sort of a response. What is my life, even?

Anywho, (she says while inhaling deeply), now onto the social aspects of my life. Ha. A pleasant fish blamed his miss comings on me, and told me to get out of my biology class, because lately I’ve been, and I quote, “an antisocial b****”. If anything, it amused me. And I didn’t leave my biology classroom. (Of course.) So, that’s it for my social life. Getting yelled at for not answering texts and being an old misery guts who avoids everyone like the plague. Oops.

You know, I’m quite curious about the origins of that phrase, “avoid like the plague”. Because it wiped out thousands of people. Clearly, not many did succeed in avoiding it. How do you abscond from bacteria in pre-nineteenth century, pray tell? Unless it’s referring to the roads people used to avoid in Elizabethan times; the “plague roads”. Hmmm. Questions, oh so many questions. Google, you know what to do.

The only exception to my anti-socialism has been the new friend I’ve mentioned in previous posts, (the one I’ve technically been on a date with) who will henceforth be known as Fluffy. (Long story.) She’s the only one whose texts I’ve been properly replying to (exiguously) and I’ve invited her around to my house a few times (as I’ve been too ill to go out). We even went Christmas shopping together on Friday! (Note to self: She is much easier to shop with than the best friend. She hates it as much as I do. Awesome.) We actually ended up in a fancy dress shop, where she purchased her sister’s Christmas present. Once that was done, we succumbed to messing around and taking photos with the various fancy dress. (That’s beginning to become a habit. Every time I go into that shop, I end up with a new profile picture. First, it was a top hat- because I’m a magician don’t you know?- now, a masquerade mask, because I’m oh so mysterious. Next… yes, I’m actually frightened about what “next” will be. That shop is insane.) I also managed to make purchases: one a secret santa gift for work, and then my sister’s birthday present (an art set and acrylic paints, which I’m genuinely envious of. I need to make another trip to WH Smith and buy my own.) Stationary and book shops equal my life. The rest of the human race may content themselves with food and sleep. Not me, all I need is a good book and a few pretty pens; nought else is necessary.

Ah, books! Well, whilst I haven’t been in college, I’ve had plenty a time to read. I’ve finished ‘The Life of Pi’, which, by the way, was excellent. I’m also finally done with my silly old YA novels, (no offence to anyone, especially the YA writers- you made most of my childhood) finally on to proper literature with a sporadic scattering of fantasy based novels. I’m currently rereading Tolkein in time for The Hobbit film. I can, not, wait. AAAAAAAH. Thorin Oakfield here I come. (He’s portrayed by Richard Armitage – I had to check, okay? – who was also Gisborne in the BBC’s adaption of Robin Hood. OH, MY, YES PLEASE.)

The BBC, by the way, I hate. Thanks to their checkmate move: axing Merlin. My life is over. You people do not even understand. Not even Doctor Who’s Christmas special can console me. FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT.

That’s about it for what’s been going on in my life. Elaborate, huh?

So! It’s Christmassssssss!

A lovely time of year! First, it’s in the winter season, which is without a doubt my favourite season of the year. I do love living in England. We’ve had “terrible” weather. Well, it has been terrible. I mean, where’s all the snow? It’s been nothing but rain. We have the summer for that! I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, indeed. Nothing cheers me up quite like a dark evening with snow falling. It’s beautiful and breath taking.

It’s also the season of giving, understanding and love. And though I don’t celebrate it, I think the sentiment behind it, is lovely and I still wish all of my friends (yet another paradox, but a nice one).

So merry Christmas my dear readers! I hope I haven’t bored you all with my balderdash of words, and I hope you’ve had a wonderful day, surrounded by the friends and family you so revere.

Here’s my quote:

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~ Norman V Peale. Awwwww. Merry Christmas!

p.s I didn’t actually mention all the things I’d been rambling about to myself this morning, instead, I’ll save it for other posts!

Here’s the original Santa, before he was commercialised. Curse you, Coca-cola! (She says while drinking one, and suffering from an addiction.)


Until next time!

Swordstress: Daily Prompt.

This is something I’ve been working on for a few years. I thought it was a great idea coming from The Daily Post and have cooked up a little blurb myself. Here goes. Would you want to know more?

“Life goes on without you.” Yes, well, for Myrna, so does war. A warrior born in the blood of battle, Myrna has found herself far away from the likes of conflict. She’s been placed in remission, thanks to her one fatal flaw. The kind of flaw that the Olc and Hellrune have no place for: mercy. Untrusting, and desolate at her fate, little does she now that this abstinence is about to end, in the form of her arch enemy.

She is forced to unite with the man she has learnt to kill, as they travel through the treacherous lands of Talemoc. Their goal? To reach the council she was raised to loathe and to learn the truth of her past; of the deadly secret that had been unknown to her throughout her existence. The secret that had been the puppet to her life. Now only cracking the surface, Myrna will stop at nothing to get her revenge. And she knows just how to serve it: with ice; without mercy.